Gnarl Dating Tips for Orks!

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Gnarl Dating Tips for Orks! Empty Gnarl Dating Tips for Orks!

Mensagem  gnarl em Ter Jul 20, 2010 4:14 am

So you have your eye on that hot Ork maiden, who works with you at the slaughter house, and you are ready to ask her out on a date. Right away you will have the question, "What are we going to do on the date?" There are few things that will make you want to split your own head open with a dull battle axe more than a conversation that goes like this:

You: "Would ya like to go on a date wit me?"
Her: "Sure! What would ya like ta do?"
You: "I don't know, What would ya like ta do?"
Her: "I don't know, what..."

To avoid this you should have something in mind BEFORE you ask her out.

Gnarl Dating Tips for Orks! IMAG003

What ever activity you pick for the date will play a major part in how things unfold. In other words: wether or not you get some. Almost any activity that you both feel comfortable doing together will make for a good date. Keep in mind that the activity you choose will determine how much talking you will both have to do. For example, If you choose to go see a stage show, you won't have to say anything once the curtain gos up. Another Orc dating tip: However, If you go out to eat, you will have to carry on a conversation almost the WHOLE time. That can be tough, especially for a thick headed Ork male. You can also gain or loose points for creativity - your date will be impressed if you think up something unique.

Important Orc dating tip: You should also keep an "escape route" in mind when picking an activity for a date. For example, lets say half-way through your date, she says something along the lines of "Ya remind me ov my last three boy friends - dey wuz all decapitated, in deir sleep, by my fatha. I don't know how he keeps finding dem?"...If you are in the middel of the woods pulling glim-bolts togethere, you would find it difficult to cut the date short. On ther other hand, if you are at a pub having drinks... you can just fake a stomach cramp and run.

Here are some more great ideas for dates:

The Big Four:

Every Orc knows about "The Big Four". These are the "normal" dates that cause no waves. They are a bit boring, but they are "tried'n'true":

(#1) A Show - Inviting someone to a Gremlin puppet show, an Ork Opera or a Goblin stage play is usually a safe, if boring, chose. Cost varies. You can go to the Empire Theatre for 1 Gold each or to go to a place with "character" for a few copper. (Orc Sex and Dating Tips)

(#2) Eat Out - Everyone needs to eat. Might as well use it as a way to help you get laid. As mentioned above, eating out means that you will need to talk much of the time. For some Orc males that can be hard, especially on the first date. (Orc Sex and Dating Tips)

(#3) Drinks - Nothing will loosen up an ice queen better then a double pint of Troll Grog! On the other hand, if you are the type of Orc who can't control your intake, you might be wise to forget this idea since alcohol has a way of bring out the ass-hole in everyone. (Orc Sex and Dating Tips)

(#4) Glim-bolt Pulling - Another classic. Granted, it's more of a "Goblin Thing" then an "Ork Thing", but Glim-bolt Pulling is a great way to get her out of the city. Plus you have a lot more things to do during a lull in a conversation. You should only try this if you have SOME glim-bolt pulling experience. Few things are as embarrassing then when a first timer breaks a bolt, gets ink squirted in the face and ends up falling flat on his back! (Orc Sex and Dating Tips)

Other Classic Date Ideas for Orcs:

Bone Wall Concerts
Stone Chucking
Skull Marketing (Again, more of a "Goblin Thing".)
Sightless Seeing
Flea Market
Death Zoo (New Ork City)
Eyeball Fondue Party
Thrill-Kill Picnic
War Wagon Clash
Hot Rock Swimming
Blood Logging (Seasonal)
Copper Vine Fight
Bash Game
Coral Picking
Gorken Riding
Pain Clubbing
Miniature Golf
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Gnarl Dating Tips for Orks! Empty Re: Gnarl Dating Tips for Orks!

Mensagem  Xamir em Qua Jul 21, 2010 12:03 am

O Xamir pode não entender de Inglaterro mas essa gaja ser feia demais para nossa raça
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